


Sugar, Tea and Spyware

by Rockersocks



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Fake AH Crew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockersocks/pseuds/Rockersocks
Summary: There's always a beginning.You don't blink and end up with skills. You don't become a prodigy in a day. There's a struggle, a path you forge out of time and hard work.Gavin didn't just wake up the Golden Boy.----Or, Gavin's FAHC backstory and how he got to where he is today.





	Sugar, Tea and Spyware

**Author's Note:**

> TW: no underage sex but an underage character does briefly look at porn in this chapter!

Gavin wasn’t too sure about the new school year.

 

Palms sweaty, he wiped them on his slacks as he made his way through the crowd of clammy, foul-smelling prepubescent kids. Kids he’d known beforehand stood chatting and fresh young faces mingled in the crowd. 

 

God, It was  _ ridiculously  _ overcrowded for such a small school. Who decided that? Why did all mingy parents decide to send their kids here? Shouldering his way past a group of year eights, Gavin searched the crowd for familiar locks of brown hair and eternal grimace.

 

“Dan!” Gavin yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth and ignoring the way his throat rebelled against the stupid tight tie he had to wear.  “Dan, where are you? I refuse to enter this school alone, B, so get your arse over here!” 

 

Pausing for a moment, Gavin furrowed his brows as classmates shot him odd looks. Rude. Didn’t their mums tell them it's not polite to stare? “Excuse me,” he said, pushing past a group of girls rolling their eyes at his antics.  

 

_ Where the bloody hell are you, Dan?  _ Gavin thought as he made his way through the courtyard, frown converging on his face.  _ What is this? Hide and go seek? Find the Dan? Pokemon 2.0 starring a Mr. Dan Gruchy? Gotta catch em all starting with one brit?  _

 

Overcrowded as it was, it shouldn’t have been as hard as it was to locate Dan. He wasn’t exactly the smallest of boys, after all. Checking his watch, Gavin glared as minutes ticked by far too fast and the fact he had to get to his tutor room became a more pressing issue. 

 

_ Gonna make me late, B? Gonna do this to me on the first day of classes, hm? Gonna be a real mate, huh? _

 

Pulling out his phone, quietly snorting to himself at the shitty Hello Kitty charm that still hung from the antenna, Gavin shot Dan a series of texts, most ending up just being vague threats and a lot of question marks as his annoyance grew.    
  
**GavSlittie** **:** _ Yo b where are you _

 

**GavSlittie** **:** _I will steal your Xbox controller in retaliation for this. You’ll always have to go to my house and then I will point and laugh_ _._

 

**GavSlittie:** _Seriously hurry up tho_ _._

 

Stuffing his phone in his pocket next to old gum wrappers and spare coins, Gavin huffed and moved on, long legs taking him to his tutor room before the bell even began to ring. Meandering around didn’t sound so bad, and honestly, what else was he supposed to do? Dan wasn’t replying, and he honestly didn’t care about the others around him. What was he gonna do, ask them how their summer was?

 

Yeah, right. All the important stuff was already known. No one cared about nose-picker Tom’s camp adventure or quiet Sally's thirteenth birthday palooza when some American girl was staying at their school. Or how Katie Lane got caught hanging out with a boy and went to purity camp. That was the real drama! And anything else wasn’t worth his time. Besides, there were multiple other loiterers around. It’s not like he’d stick out like a sore thumb.   

 

A bookish girl named Ellen Welsh-something stood with her back against the wall, a thick book in her hand that she was casually thumbing the pages too. Dan fancied her, called her a pretty girl, that she was respectfully intelligent and a great conversationalist. In Gavin's opinion, Dan just had a crosseyed fetish and Ellen fit the criteria.

 

(Dan called him a cow-humping arse in return.) 

 

Minutes passed by and the bell rang. With a shuffle, people walked to the door and lined up in a routine manner that honestly was somewhat impressive; three months off and they  _ remembered. _ Fascinating. Quiet chatter filled the halls and kids shouldered their way past each other as doors opened and tutors welcomed them in, attendance sheets held in their hands and fake grins plastered on their faces.

 

The entire time, despite his better judgement, Gavin couldn’t help but wonder where Dan was. _ Is he ill? Is he deciding to be a mingy prick and miss the first day of classes? Nah, his mum would skin him alive if he did that. Did he get taken by aliens?  _

 

_ Are they nice aliens? Or are they conducting experiments on him? Maybe he has a metal rod stuck right up his ass and he’s being brainwashed to turn his loyalties against Earth. That’d suck. Damn.  _

 

He sat down, ignoring those who sat to the left and right of him. He felt himself unwittingly relax in his seat, because what else was he supposed to do? He wasn’t Dan's keeper. Wasn’t his nanny who changed his nappies. Not like it was Gavin’s job to watch over him and make sure he gets his fruits and vegetables. 

 

He had other friends if Dan didn’t wanna show up. He could hang with John and James during lunch, even if they smelled like ass. Hell, he could go sit with Ellen and then rub it in Dan's face for not showing up. Bloke didn’t wanna go to school? Only made sense to take his girl and whisk her off into the sunset, and if Dan pouted he’d shrug and point out that if he  _ really  _ wanted her he would’ve been there.

 

Time ticked by and the bell rung, signaling English with Ms. Bensley. Gavin hated her. She was the giving-homework-out-on-the-first-day type of teacher. If he got one more lecture on paying attention during class or else he’ll ‘go nowhere in life’ he was going scream. With a scoot out of his seat and a minor adjustment of his tie (Jesus  _ Christ _ but it was choking him; did they actually want him to wear this for the entire school year?) he was out the door. If there’s a small part of him that can't get the worry for Dan out of his mind, it’s obviously not the part he needs now. Although maybe the plague’s coming back. 

 

Being patient zero to a new plague is definitely something Dan would do.

\------

 

Shoving his way past others as he exited the school, Gavin gave the courtyard a quick look over. No Dan, but he honestly should’ve expected that. He did see the new kid chatting with John and James. The girl from America. Jolene? Jessica, maybe? Something like that. Poor thing was probably forced into the J names cult as soon as those two got ahold of her. He hoped she didn’t mind smelly boys. 

 

Leaving the property he exited the school's gates and stopped. Going home would be the best course of action, especially since his dad got in around nine and his mum, not till ten. It’d be nice to sit back and watch the telly, eat Crispy Minis out of the box, pretend it’s still summer and he’s not forced into a stuffy uniform.

 

It should’ve been an easy choice. Hesitating, Gavin sighed and started walking towards Dan's house. There was no use in letting the mystery go on, Gavin decided. Bloody useless, that, sitting around and waiting with unanswered questions when the solution was three blocks away. Letting it stew would be dumb. If Dan is sick though he’ll probably be able to catch it, which would be a blessing.

 

The twenty-minute walk to get to Dan’s house wasn’t long. Honestly, it was more  _ annoying.  _ He shouldn’t have to walk this far to get an answer out of someone he’s known practically since birth. Walking up the steps, he knocked twice on the door and waited.

 

The door creaked open. A mop of black hair coiled tightly into hair rollers started to come undone as Mrs. Gruchy stuck her head out of the doorway, whispered curses leaving her lips as she reached up to try and fix them. Spotting Gavin in front of her on the porch, she gave him a quick smile and a nod, moving to the side to allow him in. 

 

“He’s upstairs in his room, love,” Mrs. Gruchy said, finally clipping the rebellious roller back into place. “Woke up vomiting, he did. Poor thing. Apologies if you were lonely, dear, I just figured since it was the first day he wouldn’t miss much, and sleeping off whatever he got was probably more important than a few icebreakers.” 

 

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

 

Sliding past Ms. Gruchy and going inside, Gavin frowned. There was just something to Dan's home that just didn’t feel  _ right.  _ His folks were alright, Gavin thought. Decent people, albeit a bit overprotective, but the type of people parents should be. The decor of the house was fine, shades of white and faded pastel browns. 

 

It just didn’t feel like a home. Or well, the right home. With how much Dan talked about joining the military, perhaps Gavin was used to imagining the future, where Dan lived on base with a nice gal and two and a half kids. Dan's current home just didn’t feel right.

 

Walking up the stairs, he could hear faint sniffles and wet coughs. It sounded  _ gross. _ Hurrying his steps, he stopped in front of Dan's door and hesitated before throwing the door open and grimacing. Dan was curled up in his bed surrounded by tissues. Used tissues, Gavin noted grimly. 

 

Dan glanced over at the door and squinted, and Gavin was pretty sure he was still half asleep. Hell, the tissue currently stuck to Dan’s face from dried snot pretty much secured that theory.  

 

“You look like shit, B,” Gavin said.

 

“...Huh?”

 

Entering the room and closing the door, Gavin took off his backpack and threw himself onto Dan's bed, careful not to jostle his friend or land on any particularly gross tissues. 

 

“I said you look like shit, B,” Gavin repeated himself. “Did you puke so much you went deaf?”

 

“I’m sick. You can’t be mean to me when I’m ill.” 

 

“Yes, I can.”   
  


“No, you can’t.”

 

“Who says I can’t?”   
  
“The Queen.”    
  
“She said no such thing, you delusional bastard.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, well.” Dan huffed, momentarily closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. “What'd ya come here for anyways?” 

 

“You weren’t answering your phone so I came to see if you were dead.” 

 

“My mum took it,” Dan replied, pulling the covers closer. “Said if I’m sick enough to stay home then I’m too sick for my phone.” 

 

“Damn,” Gavin said, frowning. “That sucks arse.” 

 

“Yeah, it does, don’t it?” Noticing the tissue stuck to his face Dan grimaced and pulled it off, sighing. “Anything of note happen while I was away?”

 

“We got a new foreign student, all American and stuff.”

 

“That's cool.”    
  
“She looks nice and all, but I don’t think she’s your type.”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“She’s not crosseyed so I figured you wouldn’t like her.” 

 

“Oi!” Dan said, pulling himself up to sit straight. “If you came here to insult me then you can leave, you know. Got no time for that, not when I could be dying.” 

 

“You’re not dying, though!”   
  
“You don’t know that. Maybe I secretly got the plague.”

 

“Then that means you just gave it to me, you prick!” Gavin yelled, scooting away from Dan. “Now we’re both gonna die of the plague and it’ll be your fault.”

 

“Good. I’ll of rid the world of one pest.” 

 

“Cunt.” 

 

Raising a brow, Dan opened his mouth to reply and instead gagged. Grabbing the metal bowl resting on his bedside table he hurled into it, yellow stomach bile mainly coming up along with a white cream Gavin guessed was cream of mushroom soup.

 

“I’m out! Goodbye!” Gavin screamed as he gagged at the sight, scrambling out of the bed and towards the door. Picking his bag up from the ground, he waved a quick goodbye to Dan, then booked it out of the house.   

 

He could just see the chunks in his mind, the acidic smell and taste as it ran up your nose and you couldn’t stem the flow and--Oh god, he was gagging again. Fucking Dan and his sickness. As soon as the prick was back to full health again he was gonna kill him. 

 

\------

 

There wasn’t much to do at home, Gavin knew. Hell, he even had a bit of a schedule to deal with the fact there wasn’t much to do. Get home, sit at the telly and gorge on Crispy Minis, and, when he was done, hop on the computer or Xbox and game till dad got home with dinner. Rinse and repeat and all that. 

 

He was  _ bored. _

 

Didn’t help they were out of Crispy Minis, and he had to resort to eating Cheerios. Or that there was nothing interesting to watch, either, just weird soap operas and their way too complex plots. None of his Xbox friends were online either. Jesus Christ, did the universe hate him? He took his bowl filled with Cheerios (which were  _ stale,  _ because someone decided not to throw them out because they were ‘still good’), and walked up to the computer room. 

 

He started up the computer and sat in the chair, swinging side to side as he continued to idly munch on them (they were gross but they were still food; Gavin was picky when he could afford to be). Finishing them off, he placed the empty bowl off to the side and tucked himself closer to the screen. 

 

Gavin really didn’t have a plan. He quickly checked Facebook and snorted at his cousin's pregnancy photoshoot she did for her dog, but otherwise found nothing of interest. Groaning, Gavin leaned back into his chair, raising his hand he flipped off the computer. 

 

Fuck it, he decided. Might as well jack off and entertain himself someway. 

 

Clicking on Google he typed in ‘hot girls having fun’ and stopped. Hovering his cursor over the word ‘girls’, he double clicked and deleted it, replacing it with guys. Pressing enter he perused the search results and clicked the first available website that struck his interest. Getting out of his seat Gavin made a quick trip to the bathroom, grabbing his mom's unscented lotion and the families tissue box from underneath the sink. Tucking the lotion under his arm he started to make his way back, unbuckling his pants along the way.

 

Opening the door he froze in place he saw the computer screen. Multiple vibrant ad screens were popping up, almost a never-ending myriad of laughably bad photoshopped dicks and offers of sex with local twinks. 

 

“Fuck,” Gavin muttered, dropping the tissues and lotion with a slight thud as he rushed to the computer. He started to click exit on the popups, only to groan with frustration as they just  _ didn’t go away.  _ Click off one ad another took its place. 

 

“C’mon, work with me here,” Gavin whined, pressing the X button on the corners of the popups with increasing speed. He did  _ not  _ care about Johnny's ‘secret’ package, and honestly, why was there a good number of popups for straight dating websites on gay porn? Seemed like the wrong target audience. Except he didn’t have much time to ponder that as another ad for ‘Rebecca's garden of fun’ popped up. 

 

He was going to scream. Loud enough that Dan and his mother would hear, that the entire neighbourhood would hear and come rushing over, thinking he was murdered and instead see this utter mess of a situation. 

 

Finally exiting the website his mood was soured, dick decidedly not erect and neither hot babes nor guys on his screen. His mind drifted back to Xbox and the thought that  _ maybe _ someone, like Dylan or Liam, would be online. Replaying Halo compared to the shitshow that just occurred didn’t even seem like a terrible idea. Boring, sure, but better than this. 

 

Closing Chrome and about to shut off the computer, Gavin paused, eyeing the new icon sitting pretty on his home screen. 

 

It was a bucket. A grey metallic bucket with a series of unorganized letters underneath. Gavin thought back to if he downloaded anything recently and came up empty. If he didn’t download anything then why was there a new thing on his home screen? 

 

His face paled as the realization hit. 

  
“Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck  _ fuck.”  _

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more, comments help a ton!
> 
> I want to give a big shoutout to Platinumbered my darling friend who helped edit this first chapter and who I'm forever in debt too! I love them a ton
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr!


End file.
